To Shout From The Rooftops
“What I tell you in the dark, say in the light, and what you hear whispered, proclaim on the housetops.”
You know that feeling when you realize what the most valuable thing is to you, and you just wanna tell everyone in great excitement?! Jesus explained it like this, and I finally truly understand:
Matthew 13:44-46 (ESV) 44 “The kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field, which a man found and covered up. Then in his joy he goes and sells all that he has and buys that field. 45 “Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant in search of fine pearls, 46 who, on finding one pearl of great value, went and sold all that he had and bought it.
Guys, I finally understand, I understand what my greatest treasure is! I’ve always kinda known deep down, but there's a difference between knowing and knowing, from being told vs understanding on a deep and even personal level. You know exercise is supposed to improve your health and mood, but you don't know how that feels till you try it yourself. You know that the Grand Canyon is grand, but you don't know how grand til you see it yourself.
When you've discovered the source of true, lasting joy and peace, trust me, you will not be able to hold it to yourself. The urge to share the great treasure you've found will burst out of you whether you ‘feel prepared’ or not. And look, you know I’m naturally on the shy and reserved side. I certainly don't ‘feel prepared’. But that one saying comes to mind: “God doesn't call the qualified, He qualifies the called.”
While I want to go deep on many topics regarding life, the Bible, theology, Jesus, and everything interesting, I know that before I can do that, I should talk about the reason I’m here today, and my overall story, to provide context for everything I’ll talk about in the future. So that’s what this post is about. I think it’ll be convenient to have it all in one place, even if it’s long.
You might know me from the art I’ve made, and/or the fan communities I’ve been part of, or maybe you know me in real life, or maybe God led you here. But even though I have to talk about my experiences, I’m not the main character of this story. The main character of this story is a man who saved me from death and darkness, a man who is also God, the creator of the universe. He is my best friend, my brother, my savior, and my greatest joy.
His name is Jesus Christ.
Wonderfully Made
I guess I always knew Jesus. My parents knew him, so I grew up hearing about and learning about Him. I was told that Jesus loves me, and I had no reason not to believe it.
In 1st grade or so, a pretty young age, I recall on one of the Sundays in the program for kids my church had, we got asked, does anyone want to come up and accept Jesus as Lord and Savior? I didn't know that was a thing you were supposed to even do. So when I heard that, I was like, well, duh, of course! So, that’s when I got saved, I suppose. I didn't feel anything special, but you don't have to. It can be quite natural like that, especially if you’re a kid growing up with church.
And I was a happy kid for the most part. I loved reading, I got my Bible in 2010 and loved that, but I only went through it once back then and not much else. So to speedrun the childhood stuff, there’s much more I could get into detail about, but it’s not really important here. In church, I was in AWANA every week memorizing verses, but most of them didn’t really stick. But I know as a little kid I would talk to God every day, mostly when I felt like I needed help with something or was nervous about something.
Through the storm, He is Lord
TW: su*cidal thoughts // skip to the next section to avoid!
My motivation tanked for some reason in the second half of 7th grade. I was still good at school, but I guess I didn’t have the same motivation anymore or see the point of it, and I was upset at my dad placing restrictions on us. I was getting genuinely depressed, and I was starting to contemplate the idea of walking into cars and ending it all, but I was always way too scared of pain to ever actually come anywhere close to doing that. So I was just sad because I felt I didn’t wanna exist, but I didn't wanna unalive myself either. And I was telling nobody about this, but I did write some depressing not-really-poem-thing about it.
Despite the rough end of the school year, summer was super fun, and I saw my childhood best friend I hadn't seen in years after she moved to China. The trio of us childhood besties were in this 2 week super high-value Chinese cultural summer camp in Xiamen, China. We shared a hotel room and all. Long story short, this is how I got into kpop, but I also learned in the middle that my dad found a new job and accepted, and we were gonna be moving to Washington state.
The whole weight of that didn't really hit til I was on the plane going home, and I was spam listening to sad music, being like ‘oh man this it it, I’m leaving everything I know. This sucks.’
It only got worse once I actually got here that first year, because I hated the hilly topography, it made me so carsick, and I hated the weather. I was a desert kid- I didn’t realize how awesome the sunny days were til they were gone and I was dealing with this constantly rainy and dark environment. And the hardest thing to me was starting over again. I was fully not knowing a single person in this entire state and I’m in 8th grade. It felt like everyone knew each other. At lunch I’d sit at the avoided table. It was avoided because it was in front of the doors to the outside, so every time the doors open, you get hit with a blast of cold wind.
My old friends moved on quickly, and I don’t blame them at all but that saddened me because I couldn’t move on yet and didn't have anyone yet. I lost interest in all my old interests- including reading books and playing video games like Pokemon- but I went all-in on new interests, namely drawing and kpop. These two went hand in hand for me.
In fact, kpop is what got me into drawing. In the past, I didn't like drawing people, I wanted to draw animals. I recall saying to my art teacher at the small age of 12, “I don't want to draw people, people are ugly.” Kpop helped this little 12 year old girl discover that people could be very aesthetically interesting. For example, the first person I really wanted to draw was G-Dragon in his cotton candy hair. I had never seen someone in that hair and I really liked it. I also thought he was pretty, of course. But I quickly realized one thing: I sucked at drawing people.
So I continuously tried to press on because I wanted to be able to actually draw these pretty kpop men. I was stubborn and unwilling to give up, and, well, it turns out I really love drawing when I’m drawing what I love. While drawing nonstop, I let my grades fall to the wayside because I had no motivation for academics. Thank God it was only 8th grade and had no lasting effects on my high school GPA and therefore no detriment to USA college apps.
It’s kinda funny, in all honesty, how God used that period of time to get me into drawing. God doesn't give us depression, y’know, it’s the enemy who does that, but God is always able to turn those situations and afflictions for good. So I'm not trying to say that me having depression was good, because obviously depression sucks, and I’m also not saying that it's good to neglect your academics, but I wouldn't have improved so much in art that year if I hadn't spent all that time drawing. And I am so grateful that God was still working even through the period of depression. It was absolutely not a 100% wasted part of my life. It was in fact a crucial part of my life, considering art remains my dream to this day.
Here, have my favorite kpop art (out of MANY)
Romans 8:28 (ESV) And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.
Anyway, at the time this was all going down, I still knew God was real, but I was kinda upset at Him. I thought He didn't really care about me or something, because I was going through all this loneliness and horrible times. There were times when I skipped school (twice, and never again, but it did happen, which is a testament to how bad it got). I didn't pay much attention in church. At the time, I wasn't finding God worth the attention because I really was upset at Him, and I would sometimes just sit in the bathroom during all of church service and use my phone, or just listen to music during church service. I didn't talk to God much anymore either.
The truth is God was there the whole time sustaining me, leading me to people who are still my friends to this day, guiding me into art and drawing, and keeping me from lasting harm. I was the one who was ignoring Him, but He never ignored me. I never rejected or renounced Him, you could say I was just going through a rebellious phase.
Early in 2017, I wrote something about su*cide on a History assignment and my teacher reported it to the school out of concern. I found myself talking to the nice counselor again. I can’t remember her name or face at all, but I think we had talked before, back when I skipped school. I was really desperate for therapy, any sort of help, and she asked me if I wanted to tell my parents, and I said yes. So we let them know, and my mom was pretty concerned, so she found some Christian therapist for me.
I only recall him being a pretty nice fellow. At a certain point, I was honestly just going there to have a complete YAP SESSION about RANDOM STUFF for an hour. And I cannot tell you if there was anything specific about therapy that helped me. But what I know is that I was starting to get to know some people by that time, at both school and church. For the first time, I started to actually feel like if I moved away, I would miss some things here. That’s when I realized I was kinda starting to settle in and be more comfortable in this state.
By the time 9th grade rolled around, I was totally happy and renewed. Also I wasn’t mad at God anymore, having realized how He was indeed there all along. But I was a bit stagnant in my faith. God was good and important, but school was also important and a lot of work, and I was playing video games all the time (cough League of Legends), and drawing in the rest of my free time. So thinking about God was kinda relegated to Sundays only.
How Great Are Your Works!
How great are your works, O Lord!
Your thoughts are very deep!
-Psalm 92:5
During high school, I hit the doubting phase that I assume most people who are raised as Christians hit.
“Is God real or are we all just collectively making this up because the idea of him existing is really nice?”
See the thing is, we never focused or talked about the supernatural side of things at my churches, so I hadn't seen miracles or anything like that. My faith in God had been strictly just kinda, “I was raised knowing Jesus died for me and I never had any reason to believe otherwise.” But here I was suddenly like, how could we even know?
So I wrestled with that for a bit, but I came to a conclusion on my own. Mainly, I’m an artist, and when I see all of nature, I just think there is no way this stuff wasn't designed by someone. Like even just look at a tree. The complexity, the cell structures, photosynthesis, the water cycle, the nitrogen cycle, the way things decompose… You know , I love ecology and environmental science. I love science and I’m like, there's just no way it's not designed. You come across a complex machine in the wild, you assume someone made it. You look at all of outer space and how Earth exists in a perfect zone for light and a perfect tilt for seasons, you assume someone made it this way.
And I was taking AP Physics 1 that year, and I was like, all these equations and formulas that work for the natural world, this is amazing how there are these things. I am so certain that these were intelligently designed by an intelligent mind. Look at the gravitational constant, if that number was different at all everything blows up. If I’m procedurally generating a random world in a video game, that world is still coming from some sort of code. The code of our world is these mathematical equations and formulas and the laws of physics. These things have already existed and we discover them. Math, for example, is not tangible in any way, yet it exists - solely in our minds - and we discover it. So who put it there?
This is all a very condensed way of saying it, but I don’t want to make this longer than it already is. Science and art proved God for me, so I was satisfied.
And By His Stripes We Are Healed
I knew God was real, but I didn't really truly understand who he is. Who Jesus is.
I had never seen miracles. I knew my mom experienced miracles and healing. I had physically witnessed how she went from being anxious and sickly to being this on-fire faithful healthy mom. I knew there were changes. But my church never spoke anything about miracles let alone healing, so it was still largely a foreign concept up through high school.
In 2020, I suffered my repetitive strain injury for 6 months. It got so bad I couldn't hold things without immense pain in my arms, wrists, and hands. According to every resource I found, this was going to be a chronic condition that I would have to ‘manage’ for the rest of my life. It didn't have a cure, except potentially surgery which wasn't guaranteed to work. I ‘managed’ it with lots of rest, wrist braces, wrist exercises, and things like that, but I anguished over the thought of not being able to ever draw properly like I used to.
Because it's such a great story, I’m going to tell it in more detail in the future. (Stay tuned for a future separate blog post. Won’t be as long as this one.) Just know that it's been 5 years since then and I've never felt any arm pains ever again no matter how much I draw.
It doesn't matter how many doubts or questions or uncertainties or oppositions may arise. I know what happened to me and my ability to draw is a constant reminder. That I was supposed to have a chronic condition, but I do not. I was in pain, but now I forever am not. I cannot be convinced that God is not real and good.
He is real. He is good. He is alive. He is here. He loves us.
Rational explanations for God are good, but when you see the supernatural you will have no way of denying Him. Miracles still happen. He moves in healings. In dreams and visions. In words of knowledge. Ask God - Jesus - to reveal himself to you, and He will. For the Lord is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth.
Born of Water and the Spirit
“And now why do you wait? Rise and be baptized and wash away your sins, calling on his name.’”
I avoided baptism for so long despite my unshakable faith in Jesus, because frankly I was nervous. I knew I needed and wanted to share my testimony about God healing my arms, but I was so nervous about the public speaking aspect. In retrospect, that was silly, but I was like that in the past.
I got to share at different small group settings, and that was nice. And I had shared with a lot of Christian friends. But aside from putting it on my instagram story, I avoided sharing with non Christians because it felt… both personal and like maybe non Christians wouldn't believe God did this for me even though it was very 100% real.
In hindsight, I would love to tell past me to just proclaim that wonderful story to as many people as possible, Christian or not, because of how important it is and how much this cemented my faith in God. So here, I’m making up for it by telling it in public now, and it kinda does get cooler every year because I can say “I’ve been pain-free for 5 years” and that number goes up every year.
Anyway, back to water baptism: it's basically a public display of your faith in Jesus and it represents being cleansed. That's a condensed way of saying it too. Lots of churches including my old one have them around Easter and Thanksgiving. Whenever those dates would roll around I’d find some new excuse to push it to the next date, and so on. Of course I believed in Jesus and wanted to be baptized, but… sometime in the future!
Well, eventually God got ahold of me. In 2024, we were living in California for a good 6 months due to personal reasons. During that time, I regained my habit of attending in-person church because I had completely lost that after COVID and the convenience of watching livestream church at home. I found warm and welcoming communities at the various churches I attended during that time, even though we were total strangers and only staying temporarily, we were well loved. And well fed with meaningful sermons and even food from one of the churches. A very small and humble church called REIGN Christian Fellowship.
One day in August, the folks at REIGN told us about a revival event that they’d be going to over in LA which was an hour or so away, by Azusa Street. We decided to tag along. It was long and powerful, with lots of people and pastors attending from different churches. By the end of it, they put out a baptism tub and called for anyone who wanted to get baptized to come up. My feet were itching as my mind waged war against my spirit internally. Yeah, I know I need to get baptized still, but not now. This is a weird time. Bunch of strangers I don't know, huge crowd, and I’m not prepared at all.
Well, maybe like two people got baptized, and then the people up front were still calling for baptism even though no one else was going up for a few minutes. “I really feel like someone else needs to come up,” the prophetess said.
That's you, the Holy Spirit nudged me. No, it's gotta be someone else, I argued back.
Then the people up there pretty much started addressing every single concern I was debating. “I really feel like there’s someone out there who, you're worried about not having a change of clothes but don’t worry, we have towels and it's a sunny day so you’ll dry fast.” Etc.
I felt like God was literally singling me out in this giant auditorium and I had a choice to make FAST. Stay comfortable, or LISTEN. Finally my feet were running, we were sitting toward the back so I was running to the stage. I GOT BAPTIZED THERE and I was so joyful and absolutely no regrets. My mom says it was really special because lots of pastors from different churches were there praying for me.
“I knew she was talking about you, but I didn't want to force you to go up, I wanted you to go on your own,” my mom told me. She was pleasantly surprised that I actually went up.
(There was no testimony sharing involved, just go up and get baptized. So… I’ll get that RSI testimony blogged next.)
The pastor from REIGN and the other members of the congregation were so happy for me and they’d taken a video and the amount of love they showed me, a total stranger, a visitor from far away, was overwhelming. This is what it meant to be in the body of Christ, to find a place of unconditional love, that is what you will find in church.
When I got back to Washington, I got into the groove of in-person church without skipping a beat. Ultimately, that was the best thing California did to me: a hard reset on my attitude toward church attendance. Slowly but surely, this turned my stagnant life around.
Sharper Than Any Double Edged Sword
Hebrews 4:12 (ESV) For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart.
Look, the biggest reason I didn't really truly know God even though I had been saved and 100% sure of his existence for a long time was that I just didn't read the Bible much at all.
The Bible is the Word of God, and as previously stated the Word is Jesus, so it completely reveals who He is and His heart. But I didn't know. I had no habit of reading it. I thought hearing it once or twice a week was fine enough, and I knew God was important to me, and he was good and gracious to me, so I felt like I was fine.
But I just kept feeling so very dissatisfied with the life I was living.
I was entrenched in this identity I had been clinging to, this concept of having diagnosed ADHD, this thing that seemed to explain so much of my whole life and the reason I always felt so different and weird and out of place and like things that were supposed to be easy for normal people just were untenable for me. For example, staying focused during church was hard for me because trying to stay focused on anything was hard for me.
I didn't realize that just because I had experienced all these things and struggled with all these struggles didn’t mean that I had to embrace all of it and say that's who I am. Kinda like how the repetitive strain injury wasn't who I was, even if it was supposed to be a chronic thing, thanks to God it wasn't.
So with this thing, it was holding me in chains. I could kinda see it, but not clearly enough. The thing is, the ‘hyperfixations’. ADHDers tend to identify strongly with their hyperfixations. Mine usually flipped between kpop and esports over the years, maybe with some smaller ones (pokemon, star rail) in the middle. So I called them ‘cycles’ because the same pattern would constantly repeat. They would be fresh and flashy and bring all this temporary excitement and satisfaction, but eventually lose their luster and reveal their flaws and become miserable and draining, even. Then I would move to the next thing and start the cycle again. But nothing ever lasted.
I was consigning myself to this. Maybe no fandom will last. At least I have art and I have God. But I was sad. I wanted to be able to just stick with one thing, with one fandom. I didn't want to lose the passion I was feeling so strongly at the start of each hyperfixation. I was getting better at accepting it, but it was still hard.
It explained things, sure, but it was keeping me jailed, making me believe there were unchangable problems about who I was, struggles that I would always face. And that gets dangerous. But I have so so much empathy for the ADHDers out there, you know, what they've experienced is real. The yearning to understand yourself is real. The yearning to be able to explain why you constantly struggle with certain things.
I’ll get back to that later, but anyway, I was getting stuck in those cycles, and it was frankly annoying. I didn't want to be constantly changing what I was passionate about. I wanted stability, which I was lacking.
Deep down, I knew that the answer, the definitive and final answer, was to put Jesus first in my life. I knew He hadn't really been first in my life. I knew I had idols. Idols just mean anything you put ahead of God in your life. But my carnal heart really didn't want to let go of my fandom passions. I was afraid of what it would mean to truly put Jesus first. I knew that there would be no going back, and I was afraid to let go of my idols when they had been such a big part of me for so long. I wanted to be me first, Christian second. But “me” was constantly changing. The hyperfixation always shifted.
If I could put Jesus first, the intensity of the other things would go away and there wouldn't be that constant shifting anymore. (Doesn't mean you have to completely cold turkey those things, it just means you don't truly prioritize and value them over God.) But these things have high highs and low lows, and the high highs were too attractive to me. I loved pouring passion and heart into things like esports and kpop. And I have lovely friends to connect with in both fandoms.
These friends knew my struggle well, the struggle of hyperfixating. But probably didn't know that much about my faith because I kept it really quiet. I didn't wanna yell Jesus on the rooftops, I wanted to whisper Him in my head on Sunday mornings.
“And calling the crowd to him with his disciples, he said to them, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake and the gospel’s will save it.”
One day, things changed.
I’m not even joking, though the circumstances that built up to that day had probably stemmed as far as from years before.
The week leading up to that day was also crazy. First of all, on Sunday 9/6/25, I was determined to go get prayer at the altar no matter what because of something I can't give details about. That something had opened my eyes to the pain of idolatry (idolizing celebrities) and I was so immensely bothered like this wasn't the first time I’ve felt burned like this by idols and I was upset about having it happen again.
So I went up and the prayer team asks what I want. I say, I feel that I need to let go of something I have been idolizing. She says, alright why don't you pray to God and tell Him that right now in specifics and we’ll agree with you. So I pray specifically that I’m letting go of the esports players and stuff I’ve been idolizing. She makes sure to emphasize turning to Jesus. And it's wild to see how God has answered that prayer over time even though I could not tell at all that anything happened that day or week.
The process of letting go of my idols has been ongoing and still kinda ongoing, but I have come so far it's amazing honestly and I NEVER realized how big of a problem it was until I became more and more freed of it and just feel more and more joy and peace.
That following week was actually kinda horrible for me in the moment. I had some conflicts with people online and I rarely ever have conflicts with anyone. So I was sad on Friday night (9/12) but God spoke to my spirit through the message that was shared that night at my church’s Young Adults group! (Which I had only started attending in June/July, but has been very awesome.) It talked about literally everything that had been on my mind that week, and emphasized how all the answers we are looking for are in the Word.
And I felt a good sort of conviction. From then on I began to read the Bible daily. That is what ultimately completely changed my life.
I found myself caring more about the things God cares about most. I found myself naturally letting go of my big vices: Gossip and Complaining. Those were big struggles for me, and I was able to understand God would help me let them go, and not condemn myself for having fallen into them so much.
And things circled back around to the start after a month- after much internal debate and reading the Bible passages that talk about forgiveness and reconciliation, I was able to reconcile with the people I’d had conflicts with. I was able to recognize I’d also been at fault in the conflicts and God was very gracious to me, allowing these reconciliation attempts to be successful.
Here’s the thing about forgiveness: Those who have been forgiven much, forgive much. That is why we are called to always forgive- because we have wronged God way more than anyone has wronged us, but God still forgives us. And through this all, He taught me how to reconcile. Later on, I was even able to forgive someone else in my life who I had been holding onto bitterness toward for many years. Because God encouraged me to, and helped me, and made it go well.
God helped me fix my sleep schedule for the first time in my entire life. I couldn't have imagined consistently waking up at 9:30 every day as a natural born night owl.
God has helped me in so many other ways I can't list them all. Small things and big things, He cares about every little thing about our lives. He is the voice of gentle encouragement, not the voice that accuses and judges us. He is always speaking, if we would stop and listen.
I just want to say that I have learned that putting Jesus first was indeed the answer, but my fears about losing my old passions were unfounded, because following Jesus is so much more fulfilling and peaceful than following those passions.
Here’s a truth: The things of the world may have very high highs, but they have low lows. They are not stable, and you can't rely on them for your ultimate joy and fulfillment. The only place to get lasting joy and fulfillment is something unchanging, aka God. God is the source of all joy and good things, so you’re in good hands (the best hands) when you truly put Him first. Even if you don’t put Him first, even if you don't think He exists, He is still the one enabling you to feel positive emotions at all. Without Him, we would not even be able to experience anything good. Ultimately that's what heck is, separation from God, separation from the source of all good.
So we can enjoy the good things here. We can enjoy video games and entertainment and other things. But idolization is where the problem lies. These things can never be your ultimate source of fulfillment and identity and purpose, because they will always let you down in that regard. We were made in such a way that only God can fill the God-shaped void in our lives, and attempting to stuff anything else in that void inevitably fails.
Having experienced the true fulfillment in God, I still sometimes feel those temptations to slip back into the old ways- but I cannot go back. Because I remember even with the high highs, there were always the low lows. And life is better with God first, as He should be. It’s not always easier, but it is always better.
My past philosophy with art was “real life is difficult, so i try to imagine a happier world through art.” While i still think real life can be pretty difficult and Jesus also said as much, I know that difficult =/= unhappy. the Word actually says to rejoice always, and that means it is actually achievable. Achievable only through Jesus. So nowadays, I’m saying, i’m not imagining a ‘happier’ world through art, but I’m expressing the joy in real life found only in Christ. It exists in reality, it does! I used to get caught up in imaginary worlds a lot and I really love them still. But the imaginary worlds aren’t better than real life. They can only express emotions that exist in reality. That joy from exploring a great fantasy universe? The source of joy is our God.
The Explanation Of Things
Who You Say I Am
What I want to say is that things like ADHD are an explanation but not a root. Why are there conditions like this? It’s a disability, you know, it's not really something people want to live with because there truly are so many struggles with who you are and not being able to get things done that you want to get done.
So, why are there these conditions? Well, we know that the world was corrupted when sin entered, and this is a natural consequence of that. Like when you put even a tiny drop of paint in a cup of water, the whole cup is now tainted.
And there's an enemy, the devil, who wants to deceive people into thinking these things define us and can't ever be changed. But it's a disability and God can heal that just like with any other condition. God is our healer.
ADHD is not a personality trait, it is a condition, a disability, a disorder.
Why do some who pray not get healed in the end? I don't fully know, I don't want to pretend I understand everything, I am not God and it is impossible for us to be God. What I do know is that He is faithful, He is good, He is perfect and sees the full picture that we are unable to see. We kinda love to credit ourselves or others rather than God when anything good happens, but when anything bad happens we seem to love blaming God. Well, God is the one who gives all the good things. The bad things do not come from Him, but from the corrupted world and the devil.
So do seek healing, for, “You have not, because you asked not.” Even faith the size of a mustard seed can move mountains. So do not think you need a tremendous amount of faith. You do not. You just need to place that faith in Jesus, and He will do it all. And knowing you are already healed by His finished work, you can live life believing that.
James 4:2-3 (ESV) 2 You desire and do not have, so you murder. You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel. You do not have, because you do not ask. 3 You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions.
I just want to say that no matter what, even if you continue to struggle with the symptoms of ADHD or anything else, I just want to encourage you to not identify with the disorder, but I wanna encourage you to see yourself the way God does, which is that you are created in the image of God for good works, and you are so very loved.
Ephesians 2:8-10 (ESV) 8 For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, 9 not a result of works, so that no one may boast. 10 For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.
God wants us to find our identities in Him, in Jesus, not in any extraneous labels. That is one of the ‘regrets’ I have- but I say regrets lightly because the experience has given me a huge empathy for people going through the same confusion.
We have a seemingly endless search for labels, we love searching for labels, and I understand because I had been doing the same thing for so long. Finding so many labels for myself. Infp, hsp, adhd, 4w9, fan of this, fan of that…
Guys, I'm done with labels, there is never an end to labels, because we are all so much more complex than any man-made label could encompass, and deep down you know that too. But I know what encompasses me entirely is everything the Word of God says about us: Beloved daughter of God.
1 John 3:2 (ESV) Beloved, we are God’s children now, and what we will be has not yet appeared; but we know that when he appears we shall be like him, because we shall see him as he is.
Romans 8:14 (NIV) For those who are led by the Spirit of God are the children of God.
2 Timothy 1:7 (ESV) for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.
Galatians 2:20 (ESV) I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.
1 Corinthians 2:16 (ESV) “For who has understood the mind of the Lord so as to instruct him?” But we have the mind of Christ.
2 Corinthians 5:17 (ESV) Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.
2 Corinthians 5:21 (ESV) For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.
Psalm 139:13-16 (ESV) 13 For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. 14 I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. 15 My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. 16 Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them.
Ephesians 5:1 (ESV) Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children.
That’s it. I dont need any other labels. I’m satisfied in this, and it is freeing. The search is over, hallelujah. The Word of God is life. A light unto my feet, and a lamp unto my path. When I can understand how God sees me, I no longer need to obsess over how the world sees me or what labels fit me.
Why? Why are people so obsessed with searching for identity, for an understanding of who am I?
You’re most likely able to relate to, “it would be nice if someone could just tell me exactly who I am and why I am the way I am.”
We want to understand ourselves, which indicates that we don't fully understand ourselves. So we try to figure it out. And certain labels seem to work, so they stick. “Oh, ADHD seems to explain so much about me.” But it’s not like every single person diagnosed with ADHD is the exact same. There are all these other things that can describe who you are. Culture, upbringing, personality, preferences, etc.
We're relational beings and we want to find people who can relate, who can understand. We crave connection, belonging, and being understood.
Hebrews 4:14-16 (NIV) 14 Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has ascended into heaven, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess. 15 For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are--yet he did not sin. 16 Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.
Look, there is an undeniable inherent desire to understand ourselves and our purpose and role in this world. It says “Internally I can't be satisfied with just thinking I’m a clump of cells that spawned in this time and place for no particular reason.” It says, “I need purpose and meaning, whether that's created by me or someone else.”
I would say this universal human urge toward finding purpose, meaning, and identity points toward something greater than just the material world.
We all know there are people who are wildly “successful” by societal measures yet remain unhappy, dissatisfied, and/or unfulfilled in their lives. So, it just isn't true that our dissatisfaction and lack of fulfillment is caused solely by our societal circumstances, our careers, financial security, relationships, etc.
It’s because we have spirits, and deep down, our spirits are searching and yearning for the most important relationship we can have… a relationship with our creator.
When we find Him and find out and understand what He says about who we are, everything begins to make sense. The seemingly unending search for identity and meaning ends because we find the ultimate answer.
The part of us that cries out for there to be more to our lives than the material world and being mere clumps of cells, that is our spirits longing to fill the spiritual, God shaped void, not just with anything, but with the truth.
That’s why I’m saying, this is actually an important thing, to be able to answer the question for yourself: of what you’re really here for, and what comes after this life. If you cannot answer that with confidence, you’ll have lingering dissatisfaction within you, even if you go on to become extremely successful in this life by societal standards.
Is There an Objective Truth?
“Truth is relative,” one may posit.
My response to that is: can you say that statement is objectively true?
See, “relative truth” is a self-destructing concept, as is “subjective morality”. If you truly believe in relative truth, then you have no rights to get offended by anyone else’s actions. Relative truth means morality is subjective, because morality is principles that we believe to be true. But if you think it's subjective, you’re saying “what’s moral truth for you might not be moral truth for me.”
So then I could punch you in the face and you would have no right to be upset because I could say “My morality says this is fine.” And if you were offended, then you would be imposing your subjective moral truth on others. I’m assuming you think that punching people in the face is objectively wrong. Yeah, in that case, you believe there is objective truth and objective morality.
So if there IS an objective truth and objective morality, that begs the question: What is it, and who gets to define it?
If there is a moral law, as we all sense there is (what makes most people agree that things like murder and theft are bad?) it stands to reason there is a moral lawgiver.
And that would be God.
Out of all the ‘religions’ in the world…
Okay, so maybe you agree God or some higher power exists. What makes me certain this is the God of Christianity and not another?
Well, first of all, you’ve already read my life stories. I prayed to Jesus, and Jesus helped me countless times and gave me a scientifically unexplainable miracle healing.
Oh, and here's the thing about Jesus. People and historians agree that He existed. So the question isn't about whether He existed, but whether He is who He claimed to be and whether He really did get resurrected on the third day.
For the sake of keeping this shorter, I’ll say this:
Many non Christians respect Jesus’ teachings, but you can't separate that from the fact He claimed to be God.
As for the resurrection, there are many pieces of evidence, but the best evidence is the eyewitnesses. The early Christians were indeed persecuted. They had no reason and nothing to gain on this earth by fabricating this story. We must understand that all these disciples actually believed that they saw the resurrected Jesus. This is the only explanation for why they would behave the way they did, risking death to spread their message. The message of good news that persists to this day.
You’ll notice I am not forcing anything, but I’m just presenting information and you can do with this information anything you want. Each person should weigh the evidence and stakes for themselves and come to their own conclusions. Faith should never be forced, but willing.
BUT WHY DOES EVIL EXIST?
Why would an all-loving, all powerful, all-knowing God create a world where evil was allowed to enter?
Isn't this a question most people have struggled with, especially people seeking God?
Let it be known and clear, asking questions is well and good. God never said you can't ask questions. What he did say was “Ask, and it shall be given to you.” And “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.”
So, absolutely no shame in asking questions. If someone shuts down all questions, we wouldn't find them very trustworthy, would we? I personally wouldn’t ever get offended by being questioned about God and Christianity, so, ask away.
Anyway, the question of evil. Let me answer this with the revelation I got about this.
Most people approach this question from the angle of free will. This is definitely part of it.
What is Love?
I say to you, if you love your friend, what does that look like? Does that look like approving of everything they do? Let's say as a hypothetical, your friend is doing something self destructive, like having an extreme drug addiction, or being in a toxic relationship. Is it loving to tell them “Keep doing what you’re doing, you're fine and nothing’s wrong”?
I say to you, the one who truly loves their friend would say to their friend gently, “Hey, this isn't good for you and will lead to further harm in the future if you keep going down this path”, because they care for their friend’s well being.
The one who does not love and does not care for their friend will not say a word. But the one who loves their friend will try to gently turn them away from that path of destruction. The parent who truly loves their child would say “No, you can't eat ice cream for 3 meals a day, it's bad for you,” even if the child begs to, whereas the parent who does not love will not care.
And such is the love of God. He is gentle and patient. But He will not simply approve of everything you are doing. He will help you, but you need to understand that you need help to change, and be humble to ask for help.
That is why “live and let live” is ultimately a faulty saying.
“Greater love has none than this: that one lay his life down for his friends.”
To create the ultimate means of help for you, Jesus gave his life. When you believe in Jesus, you are born again and He fills you with the Holy Spirit, who is also God, the Helper who will gently guide you into all truth. Then you will marvel at the willing changes taking place within you.
The Good News
Whether it is today or far in the future, someday, this information will be extremely important to you. This is the news that we humans all need to hear and receive.
The Gospel - good news. What exactly is it?
We cannot do anything to earn the gift. It is the free gift of God.
It is not a feeling, rather, it is trust.
The heart is deceitful above all- who can know it?
Our thoughts and feelings constantly change, so we can't put our trust in those. We must put our trust in something unchanging, that always stays the same: Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever. And He is the Word of God, which will never pass away.
“Follow your heart,” “Be yourself,” and things like that are flawed advice. Jesus asks us to deny ourselves, follow Him, be like Him, and trust Him. It may sound scary, which I completely understand, but when we do that, we have fuller lives here and find true, lasting meaning.
Here is a truth from our wise friend King Solomon:
“He has written eternity on the hearts of man.”
Why are we so dissatisfied? Deep deep down, we all know in our hearts that there is more to life than this. More than what we see here. Eternity is written on our hearts.
So I encourage all you seekers of truth, if you are still unsure, continue searching. For I am certain this is a matter of importance, and I am also certain that true peace and assurance in this world and beyond can be found through Jesus Christ, who is God.
Oh and: read the Gospels, and watch The Chosen :]
My final reminder: God loves you at all times no matter what. But we do have a limited time to accept His love and allow Him into our hearts. So I pray you would consider all of this.
(If you have really read this whole extremely long post, I thank you very much.
If you have questions about anything, please feel free to reach out anytime.)
