First-time LCS IRL Blog: 3/16-3/17/23
Context: Delfi and I have planned this trip since last August; we wanted to go when our spring breaks overlapped. It’s our first time going to LCS. For me, this is my first time ever going in my 3+ years of watching LCS. Sadly, Jojo got covid last week, then the rest of EG also got it and had to play from home. Therefore my favorite players couldn’t be in the studio this week, which I only found out on Tuesday. It's just really unfortunate timing… My most favorite players are Jojo, Kacper (Inspired), and Phil (Vulcan).
Day 1 (Thursday)
cards for some of my favs :/
I got 4 hours of sleep since I had to get up around 4:30 am, the flight was at 7am ish. Though it got delayed a bit we still made it to LA landing at 10am. It was just too hard to sleep in the plane.
I'm pretty dead inside at this point but we managed to get to the hotel and I met Delfi in the lobby and we hugged. So then I had accomplished my number one goal of the trip. We got ramen together and then went to the LCS studio. There was a sign at the front that listed the scheduled fanmeets for the day. Game 1- 100T, Game 2- TSM, Game 3- TL, Game 5- FLY. I didn’t realize the fanmeets were pre-scheduled like that.
I've never been inside the studio but I've seen the outside before; 4 years ago I visited LA with my family because my brother was visiting colleges and I wanted to see what the LCS studio looked like (it was weekdays so there weren't any games).
We ran into Delfi and Tenacity’s friends Mihir and SamIsDual, they were chill. I had my stupid #1 mid-jg duo sign with me and the 3 of them made signs at the sign-making table. Delfi’s said “Busio, will you be the Rakan to my Xayah?” The other two had signs begging Tenacity for a hug. So we went inside the arena and waited for 100T to show up on stage.
Mihir & Tenacity hugging by the stage
Delfi called out to Busio, and he read her sign, shrugged a little and said “Sure.” We clapped and cheered lol. When Tenacity appeared he saw Mihir and Sam’s signs and walked over and hugged Mihir which was pretty cute, but he didn't hug Sam at the time and went back to his seat.
We got our signs shown on broadcast during champ select. I gazed longingly at EG’s side of the stage where the empty chairs were and wished I could have walked to their side and showed Kacper and Jojo my sign and seen them smile or something. It’s just unfortunate.
NAWT CHEVRON BEING THERE…what if i gagged
I met some other folks like Will, the tall C9 fan. Arsh and Angie showed up a bit late into the first game. At some point someone I didn't recognize came over and asked “is one of you Elaine?” So I raised my hand and then they handed me an EG jersey. It was a jojopyun jersey signed by not only all of Ssumday, Inspired, Jojo, FBI, and Vulcan (SIJFV), but also Impact! I was reading the signatures as I was unfolding the jersey like, “Inspired signed so big… so did FBI… Vulcan’s fancy.. There’s Jojo… Ssumday… Impact.” I folded the jersey back up and then my brain finally processed what I just said. “Wait, IMPACT?” Were my eyes tricking me? I unfolded the jersey again and sure enough Impact was there. Wow, I wonder….
I have their charms on my bag too and coping by pretending they’re still with me
The same person said they would give my cards to the players, so I gave them my envelopes for Jojo, Kacper, and Phil. They were all getting prints, though Jojo and Kacper have much more. I wanted to draw more Vulcans but, ah, time was tight. I did print some Vulcan fast food stickers though lol. And I had the chibi acrylic charms for Jojo and Kacper. I wanted to make fast food Vulcan a charm, but I was worried about shipping times, which is why I just ordered Jojo and Kacper’s as soon as I finished drawing their chibis in January. Still I hope they’ll all like the gifts even though it’s not much.
Most people around me were rooting for 100T. I like 100T’s roster a lot, but I could never cheer against my favorite boys. Sadly they got clapped. I figure they did not get much practice this week due to being sick. I have already erased all the games from memory, probably for my own good, so I don't even remember what actually happened. I just felt sad, but now it was time to meet 100 Thieves.
Like I said, I like 100 Thieves, so it was actually kinda surreal thinking about meeting them. Unfortunately when I met them I had negative rizz. I was nervous out of my mind for zero. The way the fanmeets work right now is the team stands at one end of the arcade, and fans can line up first to get pictures and secondly to get anything autographed. I was lined up and just nervous; I had an envelope with gifts for all of them and I didn't know who to give it to. Delfi went first and hugged Busio and gave her gift bags to him and Closer and Tenacity. When it was my turn to get a picture with them, I just walked up and stood between Closer and Doublelift and shyly said ‘hello’, which is the only word I managed to say at all to them. Closer, very warmly, said hello back to me, and repeated it again, and I still couldn't speak words because my brain wasn't working. I glanced leftward, caught a glimpse of Closer’s face, the flash of his striking blue eyes, and thought wow. This person is real. I gave my envelope to Marti, the manager, so I hope that he gave the gifts to the players.
Also, I'm freaking short.
I waited with Delfi (I was basically clinging to her all day cuz I’m scared and clueless) for the fan meet to end, then she got Busio to sign her sign. His signature is really cute; anyone who adds a smiley in their signature is gigabased in my book. I have a picture with Busio from Worlds, but I kind of thought a selfie would be cool, but due to my negative rizz, I felt too shy to ask for one … I'm dumb, I should have asked Tenacity too earlier😭.
They took selfies and mirror selfies, talked for a while, and finally said their goodbyes. As Busio walked away, Delfi literally fell to her knees right there in front of the mirror for at least 30 seconds and said “I will never recover from this”. Honestly, that would probably be my reaction as well.
We missed most of the 2nd game between DIG and TSM. TSM won and had a fan meet. I went for a picture because why not. This time I was determined to speak more than one word, so I said ‘good job today’. And Chime (omega tall), next to me, said thank you. As I left, I called out to WildTurtle and Hauntzer and said “so glad to see you back in LCS!” These are iconic players I never expected I'd encounter on my trip and it was pretty cool to see them.
Also, the broadcast aired an interview with Jojo for his player of the week that he earned 2 weeks ago. I later found out from Raz that the interview was recorded that same morning or a day before, so very recently. Jojo (video calling in from home) sounded pretty out of it, sad, or tired, so I figure he was still recovering from covid. Poor boy, I hope he’s feeling okay.
You might not be able to tell what this is, but it’s Delfi sound asleep curled up like a cat
So then it was time for Team Liquid vs CLG. Personally, I like both teams pretty equally, and some of my closest friends are huge fans of both teams. During this game Delfi legit put her head on Angie’s lap and napped for like 10 minutes; I was so tired I wish that was me but it was really hard for me to sleep with all the lights and sound.
Anyway, Delfi and I were screaming for Yeon a lot. CLG ended up winning but the fan meet was scheduled for TL. I felt pretty bad because this loss eliminated TL from playoffs. Only Yeon and CoreJJ ended up coming out for the fan meet. I made sure to tell Yeon that I'm a big fan. He smiled with cute surprise and said “oh thank you” softly. And he smiled pretty genuinely in the photo, so I hope he was happy to hear that. I'm also grateful Delfi asked them for a selfie so I felt comfortable asking them the same thing. It was very sweet of them to come meet fans after being eliminated, and I hope they're feeling okay.
Next game was IMT vs C9. I wasn't super invested in this game, plus there wasn't any fan meet scheduled, so I guess I was kinda chilling. After the game, I figured I should make a quick scuffed sign to support Golden Guardians. Huhi is my favorite player besides vuljospired, and it was also Stixxay’s birthday that day. GG is definitely my 2nd favorite roster this split because of them and Licorice. It's like the combo of my 2018 biases.
Unfortunately, GG lost, so Stixxay didn't get a birthday dub. Also I felt like they didn't have many fans there, like I was just kinda sad on my own, but whatever.
The FlyQuest fanmeet was scheduled, so I went to the arcade with Delfi. When FlyQuest arrived I noticed Impact wearing green fairy wings and they somehow fit him super well. My rizz had also leveled up over the day (Cubby calls it scaling), so I went in with a PLAN. After the team pic, I asked if I could get a picture with Impact. He said sure and the rest of the team was kind of laughing at him, y’know, poking fun. I took the scuffed selfie (he looks extra cute irl I swear) and then I gave him my envelope and said, “Can I ask, if I draw you as a champion or skin, which champ would you want?”
He literally did the thinking emoji pose and said “Hmm, let me think…. I play too many champions…” He was contemplating for so long that I started feeling bad for putting him on the spot with that question. Then finally he decided, “I play too much K’Sante these days, so… you can do K’Sante.”
“K’Sante? Okey! Thank you,” I said brightly, and Impact thanked me too. I felt proud of myself for being able to actually speak words which I had been unable to do with 100 Thieves earlier. Impact was super nice and chill and I got a great impression of him. I’ll probably draw his K’Sante after Danny’s Senna since I promised Danny first. That’ll be what I work on first when I get home in a few days.
Faerie Court Afterparty
That was the last game, so Delfi and I headed to the afterparty together. It was right outside in the parking lot area. I was pretty sad that my top 3 favorite teams (when i say favorite teams i mean ‘favorite rosters’) at this current time (EG GG 100) all didn’t have a booth at the afterparty.
First, we grabbed some snacks. We stumbled across LCS commissioner Jackie Felling who was pretty nice. The party was Faerie Court themed, so everyone received free fairy wings and flower crowns. Then while eating, we spotted Fudge talking to people. Well Delfi spotted him first and was just staring for a while, and I was just eating snacks, and she looked back at me, saying she felt nervous to ask Fudge for a picture.
That’s when I finally realized Fudge was standing there and I was like OH. It was chill though, and Delfi did get her picture. “Hi Fudge, I’m Delfino. Delfinaur,” Delfi said.
“I know who you are,” Fudge replied sassily, raising an eyebrow. “Why are you pronouncing it like that? Delfinaur.”
Honestly I feel awkward about talking to Fudge cuz I don't even follow him and that's not because I dislike him, it’s literally just because his twitter gets a bit uncomfy for me sometimes (I'm aro ace). So that's why I didn't really try talking to him, but it's chill.
(Though I totally fumbled and FORGOT that I was planning to give the C9 players the C9 stickers I made at worlds. Oooops…)
Sadly Blaber, my favorite C9 player ever, wasn't there, and later I heard it was because he felt sick (hope he's doing alright).
Zven is gigantic—
I got a pic at the C9 booth with Berserker, EMENES, and Zven. Also I feel bad now because later I heard that EMENES wasn’t feeling too great either so I hope he's okay too. But I did ask him, “how much do you love Tomio?” because Andrea suggested it.
He smiled a bit shyly and said, “very much”, and Zven and Berserker were laughing a bit.
“Me too,” I said. “I love Tomio.”
“#TOMIOCUTE!” Delfi yelled, and I echoed it.
At the DIG booth there were signed posters with artwork of the players. The person there asked if I wanted one, and I said “sure, I'm a big Jensen fan!”
“You're a big Jensen fan? He's right there!”
I'm like HUH?? And look to the right, sure enough I see Jensen there and also Santorin and oh wait all of DIG is here, I didn't expect that.
So I go up for a picture with them and say “Jensen, I'm a big fan!”
“Really?? Thank you!” he said, smiling and sounding surprised. (Don’t be surprised Jensen,,, you have lots of fans don't you?)
I asked for a selfie with him and he said sure, and when I said thank you, he said thank you for coming, quite cutely. Honestly what a great lad, I should have said something about ‘you got this next split’ but I wasn’t sure if i should bring that up.
The FlyQuest booth had tasty cotton candy! Later the FLY players except Spica showed up, and Delfi took some pictures with Prince and VicLa.
“I’ve been watching you since Liiv Sandbox!” she told Prince.
Prince smirked a bit, nodded, and said, “I play pretty well.”
I wondered if I should say anything to Impact again, but I didn’t know what I would say, so I didn’t go up to him.
We took some pics with fairy-Blue.
The TSM booth just had some free stuff and a raffle, so I took a free banner because why not?
At the CLG booth, you could make pins, so I drew a little dogopyun (I forgot to give him fairy wings though. (Now I kind of want to draw fairy vuljospired since they couldn’t be there…)
We also ran into Raz and he was like, “Delfino right?” And he smiled at me and said “And what's your name?”
I said, “I'm Elaine,” while turning around my Jojospired sign to show him.
And he immediately goes “OHHHH how did I not realize!” haha. He was quite nice and chill as expected.
Delfi, Angie, Arsh, and I took a couple of pictures at the photobooth.
I got dinner together with Delfi, Angie, Arsh, William, and Skai. On the way we also happened to spot Impact and Prince across the street. We ended up eating Mexican food. It was quite tasty but my social battery was fully gone as Delfi noticed.
At the end of the day in the hotel I was trying to process everything and I felt very sad and helpless still about EG’s situation, but I was at least happy about meeting Delfi and everyone. And I still had some amount of hopium in the tank for the next day.
Though I didn’t actually meet Jojo, Angie gave me a polaroid she took of him a few weeks ago. She also gave me an Impact polaroid that was from FlyQuest social media or something.
(Shoutout to Inspired and Vulcan for just being really nice to me. I don’t blame any of the EG players for the week, it's just an unlucky situation. Everyone except Vulcan got covid at one point that past week, so I would imagine they didn't get much practice/scrims. I really feel for them.)
Day 2 (Friday)
I didn't get much sleep courtesy of me staying up too late plus my family being snorers. And I woke up feeling really nervous about the day for some reason. This day, I brought my new JojoCanInspire sign. Vulcan said it looks sick so, y'know thats all I need (cope).
When I got to the studio, John just got there too and it was cool to meet him. Then Angie and Ashley and Arsh showed up and finally Delfi.
I had some time before the most stressful game (game 3). There was also a potential this day for anywhere between 0 and 5 tiebreakers.
Cubby was really nice
I met Cubby in the seats in the back. He was chill and kind and talked to me for a while, and he liked my sign and kept trying to show it off to people. The first game was pretty hype because CLG upset C9 and they had their fanmeet scheduled. I had my CLG shirt on, so I was ready. Angie had flowers for every CLG player, which was a cute support project planned by my bestie Andrea, who also wrote letters to each of the players. They radiated with joy coming off their 3-0 superweek and also seemed happy to receive the surprise flowers. I helped record the video of that.
And then I got a picture with CLG plus a selfie with Contractz, who was very warm and cute. I already had pics with Dhokla and Palafox from worlds plus I would personally feel bad if I asked for more than one player’s selfie.
No fanmeets were scheduled for the next 3 games. The second game was between TSM and FLY. FLY won, which eliminated TSM from playoffs and secured playoffs for CLG, 100, and GG.
I sat up front and got my stupid JojoCanInspire sign on broadcast. Also I was looking at TL’s side of the stage and I saw Reignover and I was like gosh dang where’s the TL coach fanmeet? (I love Reignover. He was my first favorite jungler.) There was an audible “whoaa” in the audience when my sign got shown lol. Cubby looked over at me and said “seeee”, and one of the cameramen told me “now that's an artist!” I felt kinda embarrassed but said haha yeah and went back to sit in the back.
The game was off to an alright start but wasnt blown open for either side. Then EG fr started losing and I was like ah yeah here we go again. Y’know, sometimes a game reaches a state where you inherently realize it’s going to be lost, but it still takes a long time for the game to actually end? And the time between the realization and the actual end of the game is just so painful and agonizing.
churchofdanny arrived during this game (I'm not sure if I should use her real name so I'm just going to say churchofdanny) and she is such a sweet person I was glad to meet her.
Man when I first made this meme I was like “I need a good time to use this” and there ended up being way too many times it was applicable 😭😭😭
Anyway, the boys did lose again. I definitely didn't expect to start crying after the game, but I think all the emotions from the past few days just caught up to me, it was really overwhelming. Also I do cry pretty easily. The tears just came and it was very embarrassing so I put my head down and cried for a solid minute or two and Delfi hugged me the whole time, I love her so much.
I just feel really bad because I know they're worth at least third place, but the sudden covid hurt them badly and that probably doesn't feel good for them at all. And honestly, I wouldn't even mind a 0-3 superweek if it was under normal circumstances and I could still meet them in real life. But not being able to see them sucked the most.
Well, the next game was GG vs DIG. I wondered if I could get just one win in my life. Geez, DIG only has 2 wins this split, surely this won't be their 3rd. Oh right my life is a comedy, and yeah DIG won. Unfortunately this put GG in 5th-6th, aka the lower bracket of playoffs. For my non-LCS friends, starting in the lower bracket means you don’t get an extra chance when you lose a playoff series. If you lose, you're just out. That’s why placing top 4 in regular season is pretty important.
The next game was between 100 and IMT, though IMT got pretty stomped. A very kind person ordered pizza for us since the 3 guaranteed tiebreakers would keep us in the studio late into the night. Golden Guardians didn’t have any fanmeet while I was at LCS, but during this game Jae (huhi) messaged me back (I told him I had a gift for him) and said we could meet outside after the game. GG had been waiting to see whether they would have to play a 5th-6th tiebreaker but they wouldn’t because 100T won, which put GG in 6th.
I spotted Golden Guardians jerseys across the parking lot and jogged over. Jae and I hugged quickly and then I gave him my envelope. He asked if I wanted a picture and I was like of course! He also asked if I wanted Trevor (Stixxay) in the pic, and I said oh sure! Trevor was literally in the process of walking away (probably toward his car?) but Jae called out to him and said, “she wants a picture!”
Trevor walked back with a warm smile, noticed my CLG shirt, and went “oh that's an old shirt!” (i actually got it for CLG’s Valentine's day giveaway in 2019. To enter you had to submit fanart or a message of why you're a CLG fan, I think?)
“You also drew him a lot right? Before?” Jae asked me.
“Yes,” I acknowledged. It's been a while, but I did draw Trevor a lot in the past. I wonder if Trevor remembers that. It’s interesting that Jae does.
one of those ancient stixxay fanarts lol
I took the world’s most scuffed selfie of all time. Then I asked Delfi to take a regular pic of us, bless her soul. And finally I asked Trevor which champ/skin he would like to be drawn as.
“Probably Lucian,” he said, still smiling genuinely. “I always use the High Noon skin.” Again, I'll probably draw this whenever I have time and after Danny and Impact since I asked them first.
I gave them my last thank you; I didn’t want to keep them long since they were about to leave the studio. Jae told me thank you as well and I waved bye and went back inside with Delfi and her friend.
Other than meeting Delfi, this was probably the highlight of my LCS experience. 2018 me is happy. 2023 me is still happy about meeting her 2018 biases (except Licorice rip I didn’t get to see him), but unfortunately sad she couldn’t meet her 2023 biases.
Immortals also had a fan meet so I was like alright sure, IDK where Tactical was though
Now it was tiebreaker time, beginning with C9 and FLY’s tiebreaker for 1st-2nd place. Honestly I dont think that seeding matters much especially when you don’t even know who's 3rd and 4th yet. I get why the C9 and FLY fans would feel stressed over it but all I could worry about all game was oh man oh man is EG gonna get 5th? Remember that 5th place means lower bracket which means no extra lives. And the way the 3-way-tiebreaker shook out, EG would have to play 100T, and the winner would have to play CLG for 3rd-4th place. I believe CLG was the final boss because they had a 2-0 head-to-head over 100T while EG was 1-1 with both of them.
And seeing 100T’s trajectory, I felt like beating them would be extremely difficult. So I was trying to mentally prepare myself to see EG get 5th. I thought about making a sign that says “don’t ever say it's jojover if I'm breathing’ but I didn't feel like leaving my seat.
It was off to an alright start (I was never really getting my hopes up, also lowkey stressed out of my mind) and then I realized it’s Closer meta and suddenly he's legendary on Viego while my babygirl (Inspired) is on bedgeuani and I'm like dang it's jojover. In the middle of the game, Cubby decided to sit between me and Delfi for a while and say something about ‘breaking the tension’, obviously a joke cuz me and Delfi got zero tension even if our boys are fighting each other. Also Emily Rand appeared for a while and it was cool to meet her. But Cubby was nice and told me he thinks Inspired is the 2nd best in LCS behind Prince.
Y’know what, Inspired is great, he’s just been quietly on tank duty often and he got sick this past week, and I saw people flaming him this week but I love him.
Anyway, everyone’s clapping and cheering for 100T which is super valid, but I honestly just feel extremely dead inside, mainly because I knew it was gonna happen and it sucks that it happened. I kept wondering if there was anything I could say that would cheer the boys up, and I landed on, probably not. I was out of tears though so I didn't cry.
In total, EG and GG went 0-5 while I was there and 0-7 in the superweek, which kinda blows because it would have been nice to witness at least one dub.
With EG ending in 5th place, aka the lower bracket, how far can they go in playoffs? I don’t know. All I can do is send the boys love, right? What can I do… I know they’re better than a 5th place team, it’s just the unlucky situation with players getting sick and the team not getting much practice :(
Delfi had to go catch her flight home, so we went to the arcade for pictures. It was very heartbreaking because I felt like we really didn't even get to spend that much time together, and now it will be who knows how long until we meet again. But I had to stick out to the end of the day since I was already here, and there was one final tiebreaker left between 100T and CLG.
My bestie I didn’t want to let you go I wish we had more time together :(
I had zero energy or vibes remaining, and I probably spoke like 5 words total all game. Arsh was pretty funny since Delfi had tasked him with holding up the “Busio is my #1 babygirl” sign in her absence. Anytime Busio had a good play (many times), he kept exclaiming “that's my babygirl!”
100 Thieves won which was chill. Both them and CLG had an amazing week. It was now past 10pm and the extra-long LCS day was finally over.
Delfi had a gift she wanted to give Busio that day with a special message, but sadly wasn’t able to see him that day. So we waited in what I'm calling the ‘lobby area’ to see if Busio would walk out at any point. During this time I saw all of CLG walk out at various times. Dhokla kinda smiled at us so I waved at him. I also saw a lot of casters and analysts walk out. Idk why but I'm kind of too shy to say anything to most of the casters. But it was cool.
It was maybe 20 minutes of waiting before anyone from 100T appeared. That was Doublelift, and churchofdanny shyly asked if she could have a picture with him. And then I shyly asked if I could also have a picture. I told him I loved his costreams, and he said “oh thanks, those were a banger!” Then he walked outside to do an interview with Travis Gafford.
It seemed like Doublelift’s teammates weren’t going to come out until his interview was over. Bjergsen did walk out on his own since he apparently goes home in his own car? I said I'd wait for Busio until my parents arrived since I didn't want to keep my parents waiting. When my parents arrived, around 10:45pm, Arsh and Angie and I walked out together and we could see Doublelift doing his interview in the distance. It was just about to end.
When the interview ended, Doublelift ran in a small circle, looking around, and yelped, “ah, where’s my team? I don't know where my team is!” Then he sprinted back toward the studio, hair bouncing in the night.
So when I got into the car, my mom asked me, “who was that being interviewed, he seemed so young and cute? He asked ‘where's my team’ and was running and jumping like a kid.”
I laughed and said, “That’s Doublelift, he's 29!”
“He's 29?? He seemed like a kid, running and jumping around.” My mom meant that positively of course, even today she was still bringing it up, talking about how cute that moment was. Lol, I guess she likes Dubby.
Apparently the rest of 100 Thieves showed up like 2 minutes after I left. Woops. Well, next time then. (Whenever that is… probably an extremely long time from now…) Arsh said he’d give the gift to Busio next week, so that's good.
Lingering Regret
So I guess that's how my LCS trip ended. The rest of the time is just a regular family vacation. We’re going back home on Tuesday.
But I'm still thinking about LCS. And I'm still sad. I can't help it. Maybe it’ll feel better after enough time. But for now I can't help but think I shouldn’t have been here at all. And I really don’t mean that negatively toward anyone I met here. Everyone was really nice. And each person I met definitely softened the blow of not being able to see Jojo, Kacper, and Phil. I'm just, it was difficult and expensive to fly out and whatever happened didn't justify it for me. I'm the type of person to brainstorm every worst-case scenario and somehow one of them actually came true. Months ago I already ran through the scenario, thinking ‘it would really suck if EG randomly couldn’t be on stage the week I go, like when they had a false positive last year and were at home for 2 weeks.’
I anticipated meeting them for a long time. Of course we’ve talked before, but never in real life. I wondered what I was going to say. I thought about what gifts to give, what signs to make. Even though I’m bad at gifts and always end up giving art-related stuff, I tried my best to at least come up with something unique. That’s why I started drawing the player cards, the ones for which I asked them which champs they wanted to be drawn as. And I was worried about shipping times, so I ordered the acrylic charms for Jojo and Kacper all the way back in January even before LCS began. And I wanted to make more gifts, but school was kinda beating me up for a while. Nonetheless I was motivated to finish the school quarter strong and have a nice reward in my LCS trip. Sadly it wasn't really rewarding at all unless you define the 5 stages of grief as a reward.
I feel like the bad memories kind of outweigh the good ones right now. I feel stupid for even thinking that I could fly out and just meet them, whether it was at Worlds or now. And there’s nothing to really cope with from them. No meeting, no wins, no pictures, no videos, no tweets, no signs of life. Just… a hollow emptiness.
Could I have gone up to EG’s side of the stage and waved at the boys I love and held up my sign for them to smile at? How loud could I scream if they won a game in front of me? What would we say to each other when we saw each other for the first time? How short would I look next to them? How would Jojo and Kacper react to the charms? Would Jojo laugh at my jersey that says JOJOSPIRED on the back (I got it because Kacper approved of it)? Could I have gotten my Crocs signed or is that a stupid thought? What if I could have cried from happiness instead of despair? Will I ever know?
Sorry.
///
After waking up from the dream that was you
This morning of reality feels so empty
- winner - empty
